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Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
