and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
