No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
