you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Im part way to drunk.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
