I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
