dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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