that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
