Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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