I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
