i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
