I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize