Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
