they need to just BURY HIM!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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