Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
