It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
