People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
