I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
