someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
