I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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