Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
