I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
