its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
