i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
