I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
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