You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize