I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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