Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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