It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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