i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Are we still banned from the library?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The Olympian is in my bed
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
