dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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