Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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