My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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