I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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