my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
