Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
