I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
