i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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