while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
