does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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