She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
