Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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