I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
