Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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