when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
