They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
And then the night went full on bisexual.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
