I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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