The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
