This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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