At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
