Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

In the future we'll all be gay

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(802): View more from Vermont

You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?

(1-802): View more from Vermont

The one in Montpelier?

(802): View more from Vermont

yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.

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(408): View more from California

and pubic hair rears its ugly head again

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(515): View more from Iowa

sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke

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(916): View more from California

the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.

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(801): View more from Utah

I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience

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(308): View more from Nebraska

He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.

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(443): View more from Maryland

He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian

(443): View more from Maryland

And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?

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(559): View more from California

Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.

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