trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just puked most of my soul out..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
