it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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