My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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