It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize