this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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