Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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