You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
