This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
