You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
you made out with another girl for some wings
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
